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”“Do you know the Archbishop of Windsor?” Paula asked the cardinal.The cardinal fielded the question with aplomb. “A good man. Doing God’s work,” was his verdict on the non-existent personage.“How can I help you?” asked Paula. “Is O’Malley here causing you problems?”“No,” replied the cardinal, “but I wish to talk with him after his shift ends.”“No problem,” beamed Paula, “O’Malley can finish his shift early, I’ll get Shelley to substitute. Don’t forget to clock out, O’Malley.”Bitch! I needed the money.“Shelley to the checkouts.” Paula used her microphone to summon my replacement before I could protest.When we got to the car park, I discovered the cardinal now merited a chauffeur-driven Bentley. The vehicle was parked in a wheelchair-user bay because it was too wide for the normal parking bays.“Get in,” said the cardinal. “I’ll explain on the way.”“No. You said you just wanted to talk, so talk!”“The daughter of a Supreme Court Judge has been possessed. Two exorcisms have already. ?I suppose it wouldn?t hurt to try them on,? my mother said grudgingly.?Try them on?? I said, alarmed. ?You mean, go into the women?schanging room??Of course. Why not???Because I?m... a boy!? I hissed.?Well, you?d better hope no one finds out, hadn?t you?? she said.?I?ll ask the assistant for a pair in your size,? she added moreloudly.The ladies couldn?t have overheard the quiet part of our conversation,and they were sure they were listening to a mother and daughter arguingabout suitable clothes. They were thoroughly enjoying the littledrama, probably having been on both sides of the debate themselves intheir time.The assistant came over. She sized me up by eye and got out hermeasuring tape. She eventually decided on a size 14, mutteringsomething about them possibly be a little ?snug in the waist?.Nevertheless I took them to the fitting room, which fortunately offeredindividual cubicles with curtains. I hung my blazer on a hook, pulledmy gymslip over my head, and took off my.
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